So i tried not to contact him.
I turned of my cellphone for one and a half day. And for those days, really i feel alone. I wanted to text him, i wanted to communicate with him as much as i do, but i know, that the more i carry on, the more i will get hurt. Besides, like what i've said before: I don't want to fight over a guy with my friend.
Well, i cried.
Sometimes i think that it's not fair, why i should be the one who has to give the relationship up. But i know, it's for friendship sake.
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After one and half day, i slowly turned on the cellphone. He was looking for me. And it made me feel guilty. Once again, i cried.. Since then, i promise that i won't leave him again. More over, his affection made me feel melted, again..
and we became close again...
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Actually i feel that we've became closer than before.
One week ago, we went overseas together, with two of my friends. There, i feel like we are a couple. My brain told me to stop, because if i carry this feeling on, i know that someday i will be hurt again. but my heart wants to be like that. So i let my heart win. F*ck for the future, as long as i could be happy for now..
Well, that's a one week full of memories. I loved it.
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But now i realized..
That maybe i am the one who is naive, being to selfish, that didn't put myself in his shoe..
I just realized, that maybe he really feel burden communicating with me..
As i could imagine, if i were him. I have to replied all of the messages from someone who's you don't have any feeling with. You did it just to make that person (me) happy, so in the future i won't be sad again..
Deep down inside, i didn't want to make you feel burdened. Please, enjoy your life. I want you to be happy..
so sorry... :'(
"if you truly love someone, then the only one you want for them is to be happy... even if it's not with you."
